You Either Leave It or You Don’t — There’s No Middle Ground
You only have two choices.
Either you let go of porn completely or you don’t. There is no middle ground in this topic and certainly no easy way out excuse.
Your choice can only have two outcomes. You can choose to lead an incredible life with serious discipline, or you can succumb to your desires and have little mastery over yourself.
There’s no in-between. Soft porn or hard porn — it’s all the same. Both will take you deeper down the rabbit hole. If you think soft porn is fine then you’re sadly mistaken. It won’t take long for soft porn to turn into hard porn. And once you are further desensitized, it only gets more horrific.
A small spark, deemed harmless, has the capacity to burn thousands of acres of forest down. The similarities to porn are no different. One small spark can turn into two, three, and even one hundred. By then, if these sparks are not put out, you’re bound to burn down.
The depressive episodes will return, the suicidal thoughts begin to take hold, the confidence you regained will begin to vanish, a life of impurity will ensue, and life itself will become unbearable.
You’ll question yourself and your worth, shame will consume you, and the life you wished to lead will seem to be getting farther out of reach.
So if you have managed to step away from porn, don’t fool yourself into thinking a quick glance, or exploring a topic you’re “curious” about is harmless.
The spark that burns thousands of forests each year is fueled by your negligence and curious mind.
Show HN: Firefox Addon to Filter NSFW Content
It's called consent. For a minor, their parent or guardian must consent to show them adult or other traumatizing content. Despite your personal experience, parents and guardians ultimately have the right,authority and responsibility to do their best to ensure the well being of a minor under their care which could mean no porn or even no meat in their diet. You don't have to agree.
> Much worse than adult content is addictive content that forms obsessive behaviors...
There is literally nothing more addicting than porn. Not only that but the long term social and behavioral issues that result from porm addiction are far more harmful than for example cocaine or lsd (which isn't addictive).
But let's say porn is not harmful or addictive, showing porn to people against their consent is a form of sexual abuse much like exposing yourself in public is (despite nudity laws). It boils down to the fact that biologically speaking naked people arouse a sexual reaction and sexual interactions of any kind must be between consenting parties. Period.
This isn't about policing morality but consent and it is a shame that it is neccesary to begin with.
TikTok’s Stratospheric Rise: An Oral History - WSJ
My very loose understanding is that the effectiveness of the "Not interested" button is somehow inversely proportional to the strength of the correlation that TikTok uses for that particular suggestion.
As the obvious example, if you are a male, you might only need to click "not interested" once or twice to stop seeing e.g. skateboarding or woodworking content, but many, many times to stop seeing content from attractive females.
Ask HN: How do I find my “purpose”?
> A mushroom or LSD trip in nature is the quintessential human experience and has been immensely helpful even for those than never continued use of the substance
I'd like to provide a counter-example - I've never had any benefits from using LSD or shrooms. The first time I was just tripping and deluded myself into thinking I've discovered something very profound, when in fact I was looking at some basic mathematics like Fibonacci sequence and thinking thoughts like "wow this is so much similar to real life, things repeat, but they also change". Every subsequent time has been progressively worse. One time I've spent an hour feeling most depressed I've ever felt in my life while crying in a fetal position. Last time I tried shrooms, every single noise was amplified 10x and scared the shit out of me. Afterwards, it just wasn't worth trying anymore.
My best friend from high school, a very bright and intelligent young man, met a girl who was very into psychedelics. They started doing them, had lots of fun. I did it with them a few times too, mostly had a good time. At first sight, one would say that the drugs actually benefited them, made them more "open". But after some time, they internalized the stance that they were "immune to bad things" that can happen from drug abuse. Few years later, the friend ran away from home, talking about how his parents are narcissistic and abusing him (which I'm fairly sure they weren't - he told me all about his relationship with parents for years, and there's never been a single sign of narcissism or abuse in his stories, and I've personally met them, hanged out at his house, they were always nice to us and never showed a single sign of any issues), cut off his fingers with a knife, and disappeared without a trace. To this day I haven't been able to find him anywhere online, and I only hope he's alive.
Psychedelics are fun, but to say that they're "immensely helpful even for those than never continued use of the substance" is a huge generalization, requires a lot more data than most people consider to gather, and is harmful as general advice.
A better advice would be something along the lines of "try it and see how it works for you, there's a chance it might help you out".
Also, if you're depressed or anxious, avoid psychedelics, especially heavy doses. At some point it's hard not to start thinking about the white elephant, and once you start falling in the abyss, there's not much that can pull you out.
Associations between alcohol consumption and gray and white matter volumes
I gave up alcohol years ago after reading a few of these studies. I wasn't drinking often anyways, but does it ever feel good to never feel that morning after headache. I found even one pint in the evening could disrupt my sleep.
Saving on the restaurant, and eliminating the liquor store, bills was gravy.
Too Like the Lightning: Book One of Terra Ignota - Ada Palmer
Such things are supposed to be extinct in our Enlightened age, but if civilization continues another millennium, another ten, drunk people will never become less stupid.
Andreas Kling (@awesomekling)
Today my oldest nephew (7) told me "you've been my best friend for as long as I can remember" ❤️👦
I would 100% have missed out on this if I hadn't gotten clean 4 years ago and I'm so grateful that I get to have this life instead. 🌅
The millennials in sexless marriages - BBC Worklife
I'd be surprised if the relatively new phenomenon (within the last 20 years) of widespread immediate availability of every kind of pornography at any and every moment doesn't play a role. The article mentions it as one of the possible contributors.
The 4th Year of SerenityOS
I follow Andreas on twitter and he is a big inspiration for me when I go look at more challenging problems now.
I have an addictive personality, so far cigarettes are the only thing that got me and only for 4 years, but I largely stay away anything else now because I see how it effected members of my family and how easily someone like myself could go the same way.
Because of that I very much appreciate channeling yourself into something as ambitious as an operating system instead. It's actually the same way I've built any of my best work and how I've gotten even this far in my career. The line I say is: programming keeps me sane.
Prenatal cannabis exposure associated with mental disorders in children
Is this really surprising?
Any time I had used cannabis I felt like my IQ dropped 20-30 points and I would lose hours of my day where it was difficult for me to learn. It made doing household chores not terrible, but brought out a lot of panic inducing moments and erratic behavior. I was thinking about a 100k other things while doing one thing. Later on I realized I wasn't even doing that one thing so well. Anything that drops cognitive abilities for a moment is going to be awful long term and especially for babies.
I know a lot of people think cannabis isn't bad, but it is intellectually dishonest to disregard the broader effects of effects on cognition. I say that as someone who used to smoke a ton of cannabis.
Not having to rely on drugs to find calmness has made a profound change in my life, and I can't believe that I used to turn to weed, alcohol, etc. when all I needed to be permanently (key word) happy was already present within me. Prior, when the effects went away I spent just as much time craving and suffering heavily.
That being said I don't think it should be criminalized or anything like that. It is up to adults to do whatever, but it is useful to be honest as well. Not everyone uses it for epilepsy, none of the dispensaries here sell CBD products. Its all high THC products meant to "fuck you up"
Why do you waste so much time on the internet?
Just speaking for myself, I've noticed that my habit is to eat what is in front of me, and clean my plate. I mean this both literally and figuratively.
If I have dessert in the house, like a bag of chocolate, then I eat one after dinner. If I don't have it in the house, then I just don't eat dessert.
If I have a social media feed full of content, then I'll scroll through all of it until there's nothing else that's new.
So what I've been doing is not entirely quitting Internet stuff, but instead I just massively unsubscribing, unfollowing, and filtering all the feeds. Sort of a Marie Kondo thing. I go through every subreddit I'm in, every RSS feed, every account I follow on Twitter, and i strongly consider "is this really providing lots of joy and/or value?" If not, it gets the chop.
I've cut out at least 2/3s of the stuff I was following since the peak, and it's only going down. Now when I doomscroll it's only for a few minutes. I hit the end of new content very very quickly. When that happens I start to look elsewhere. I've been reading a lot more actual books, done more chores, and been more productive overall.
As for the things I unfollowed? They clearly had no value because not only do I not miss them, I can barely even remember what they were.
I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself
I have a son who is 11. All of his friends have smart phones. He will have friends over to the house and the friends will sit there and stare at their phones. My son who doesn't have a phone will be like, hey can you get off tiktok so we can play or go outside? It is rather sad to see this, they are hanging out sharing videos they find on their feeds through their phones. One time my son said, hey get off your phone and lets go scooter around the neighborhood, the kid replied, hey I think I am going to go home. He wanted to surf his phone more than actually hang out with his friend.
I think I made a very good decision not to give my son a phone until he is driving. Instead of surfing tiktok all day, he learns music, does origami, plays outside, helps me with the garden and many other things that bring him a lot of joy. I obviously help him with whatever interest he has, and I think him seeing the way his friends handle social media has made him not really want a phone anymore. He doesn't even mention it to me like he did when all his friends first started getting one. He sees how addicted they are and how he doesn't even have those friends over anymore.
I think people over estimate the "pariah" thing. I grew up in a family of alcoholism, so I chose never to drink. At first people would ask me to drink with them at parties and such. Eventually they realized I never gave in, so when they were out buying alcohol, they would always buy me a pack of soda so when I came I would have something to drink with them. So if the friends are good, I don't think our kids will be pariahs. I think/hope that instead our kids will just find people who appreciate and understand their choices or the choices of their parents. If they don't, are they that good of friends after all? I think it is okay to have less friends, if the quality is higher.
Is Everything Falling Apart?
How devoid of intelligence it is to consider this manufactured divide as the reason things may fall apart. The group of mass media big-shots is extremely cohesive, as per this author's own perception of integration. Yet they fuel both sides without a single care about whether this may cause things to fall apart, and they're not wrong, which becomes clear if you actually look at the world and try to understand it instead of just absorbing mass media without practicing intellectual self-defense.
Our eyes are being averted from the actual problem, because it's believed that the more we look at it, the worse it becomes. I reject this anti-intellectualism, therefore present you why everything is actually falling apart.
The more humanity advances, the more we lack eros (loosely love for things we do not have) and the eros we have becomes weirder or outright bizarre. As this happens, we lose hope, that's the fatal hit. For example, access to porn has demonstrably been extremely detrimental to sex. For every passion we lose, we lose hope or replace it with a fetish. When we lose a healthy passion for clothes, we stop caring about what we wear or (more common in the west) become fetishized with bizarrely priced brands. When we lose passion for work, we stop caring about the future entirely (common in the third world) or become parasitical bureaucrats. It all adds up and often materializes into drug abuse. For an extreme example, look up the catalytic converter gangs in Kinshasa . This loss of hope is monotonically increasing globally, and the manufactured divide has nothing to do with it. In fact our elites believe a little infighting and polarization may be good, as extremists are generally hopeful when they see things going their way, and more traditional solutions like education don't seem to be working these days. I don't think this theory has a name yet.
Internet spring cleaning: How to delete Instagram, Facebook and other accounts
People are realizing that social media is draining, predatory, and entirely superfluous.
Of course there are employees here of social media corporations who would want to stem the tide of this mass exodus, but it's useless. Social media corporations have overstepped their boundaries and become a net negative on human society.
Deleting your social media accounts results in an immediate improvement of quality of life and mental wellbeing. These sites are intentionally designed with predatory psychological mechanisms, they are designed by hackers like ourselves, but the hackers who see "social engineering" as a perfectly ethical practice and not simply psychological manipulation.
These services are designed to be addictive, full stop. Addiction is not healthy, and neither is social media. Maybe this will bring SV back to its roots, real technological progress for the nation and not desperate bids for data mining based on cheap psychological tricks.
People are growing sickened of the endless scrolls of psychological disturbing viral content combined with the false positivity of human interest stories. It is deepening social divisions, racial conflicts, political partisanship, and general misery. We don't need social media, what we need is real social connections in an increasingly isolated society, and social media stands in the way of this.
The Factorio Mindset
My problem with games like Factorio (and more recently Oxygen no Included), is that after I get addicted and get up past 100 hours of gameplay I start to question what the hell I'm doing with my life. Up until that point it's great fun designing, building, and optimizing, but then a switch in my head flips. I start to become anxious about the fact that I was excited about getting better at skills in a virtual world. Usually around this time I start watching videos of more advanced builds, and then become increasingly depressed about the idea of sinking 1000+ hours into a game, when I could just be building something in the real world, or out riding my bike. This is usually the time I put the game down and never play it again.
I think the problem for me is that these games give me the illusion of learning, building, and accomplishing things, which my little engineer brain loves. But once I come out of the haze of addiction, I realize it's nothing more than an illusion, and I just stomach going on.
Cannabis use produces persistent cognitive impairments: meta review
I used to wish to be a professional drummer. When I was 14 I attended a drum camp for a week to meet and learn from some of the world’s best drummers, along with other children and adults from around the UK with similar ambitions.
I became friends with one kid who was exceptionally talented as a musician, but also had a chronic marijuana habit. He was a better drummer than me at the time, but the drum camp was held every year. I attended the following year, and to my surprise, so did he.
As I am a huge nerd, I spent the entire year obsessively practicing. My friend spent the whole year smoking marijuana and being complacent. We were excited to see each other and catch up, but it wasn’t long before we started showing off our skills on the drum sets. His heart sank when he realised how dramatically my skills had surpassed his. I think he had a bit of an identity crisis, and likely as a consequence of the frequent substance abuse he developed a deep and blatant paranoia. He tried to commit suicide in his room the following day, and had to be removed from the camp.
I didn’t speak to him much after that — kids weren’t quite as connected as they are today back in 2005 — but to my surprise he did manage to contact me a couple of years ago. I asked him how he was, and he said he was doing better now after rehabilitation, but that life got much worse for him since we last met, explaining that he had been addicted to heroin.
I recognise that this is an extreme case, but I grew up with a lot of kids like this, and marijuana is scary as shit to me, despite some nerds today being adamant that it’s excellent and certainly better than alcohol.
A lot of people are getting the OnlyFans story wrong
At least this explains why normal porn sites keep living on perfectly well using MasterCard and Visa. They already have to follow regulatory requirements to demonstrate they are complying with age and consent laws, each video includes a front-matter frame saying where you can get the documentation of their compliance, and many include behind-the-scenes extra content showing all of the performers presenting government-issued IDs and signing consent forms.
This brings this conflict out of the realm of adult entertainment and into a broader conflict between incumbent central providers that are held to regulatory standards and apps providing a platform for individual contractors that don't follow those requirements. It's in the same field as people arguing AirBNB is only able to exist because it's allowing people to operate hotels without having to comply with hotel regulations, and Uber allows people to operate taxi services without complying with taxi regulations. OnlyFans was giving individuals a way to produce adult films without having to comply with adult film regulations related to age and consent verification of the performers.
OnlyFans to block sexually explicit videos starting in October
Does anyone else here feel the Onlyfans phenomenon is just exploiting sad lonely men who’d be better off leaving the house, doing some exercise and trying to eat healthier and build their IRL social networks?
This whole cam-girls making a fortune this way seems somehow more dishonest than normal porn to me, maybe because it’s about these guys (who can never have relationships with these women) building a personal and intimate relationship as one of her “fans”. I almost see this as being like gambling where people need to acknowledge maybe how powerful sex is and being a technology that should be regulated similarly.
I wonder if nobody calls out this exploitation because society keeps suggesting that all men are privileged, which is definitely not true for at least 60% of the male population.
Anyway I’ll probably get downvoted for this but these double standards have been irritating me for a while :-)
If all of the porn in the world were to dissapear, how much do you think this subreddit alone would recover?
No offense to anyone, but why *hoard* porn? Man there are so many other way more important things.
Don't get me wrong, we all have a collection, but when the collection becomes the backup... specifically for porn... we may want to seek some form of treatment. One that doesn't involve naked people.
I'd go so far as to say, if you have more porn than time then you've probably got an addiction. And not to data.
I treat homeless people like absolute shit.
I have a pet theory I've been nursing that says that our current homeless problems started with the release of the movie 'One Flew Over the Cukoo's Nest' . That movie was a big hit, won many awards, and planted the seed of distrust in the existing mental health system of the time.
The movie showed the results of involuntary incareration in a negative light. The public reacted, agreed that it was a bad thing, as so we got rid of the mental hospitals.
... fast forward 50 years and here we are today- same problem- what to do with someone who is not functional in society? Let them live on the street or put them in a institution.... no good choices.
"We’ll explore more ways to address what holds people back from participating on Twitter."
Perhaps I can help.
Twitter is always angry. You'll find the most idiotic, extreme, harmful statements from both sides of the political spectrum. Worse, Twitter actively rewards it. The more unhinged and controversial, the more engagement you get.
The replies will be equally angry. Any attempt to add nuance or reason is futile. Because the damage is already done in the form of retweets, likes, quotes.
Hence, the unreasonables run Twitter. And they have normalized a lot of absolutely pathetic behavior. Taking things out of context and applying the worst faith interpretation of it, willingly. Sub-tweeting, screenshotting, exposing private conversations, speaking badly of others within their bubble, and sometimes this triggering further attacks or even cancellations.
This culture of perpetual outrage, hate-addiction even, and the many childish behaviors that come with it, are born at Twitter.
After a Twitter session, one feels miserable and depressed. There is nothing delightful, nothing new you learned, no new friend you met. It's horror. Like the news, but then 10 times worse.
Wait, sometimes there's non-hateful tweets too. 99% of them are self-congratulatory or stupid. Something like: "My 3 year old just commented that an intersectional approach in politics is most effective".
Attention starved, completely made up. Yet for sure it will get thousands of likes. Both hate and idiocracy are richly rewarded.
To stay in line with the ever narrowing Twitter culture, one has to use it at least 6 hours per day. Otherwise, you might miss that word you used your entire life suddenly being problematic. Could even be a particular emoij. Anything triggers outrage. Anything at all. It seems the entire point of Twitter: maximizing outrage perpetually.
It's a Twitter thing and a Twitter thing only. I've never experienced it with such intensity anywhere else, and I'm merely lurking. The reason I hate it so much is that it goes beyond just a website sucking, its effects are cultural.
Anyone else who like open world games and would love to do multiple playthroughs but just can't find the time? I feel like a lot of opportunity is wasted if I don't play in a different way in the next playthrough..
If you're playing a game for anything but pleasure and not getting paid for it, stop playing the game.
If you feel like you "have" to complete 100% of a game's material, despite it being a "mountain of tasks" that are no longer fun, you have an addiction, a compulsion, or both, and need to seek treatment.
The most precious resource is agency
Amen. I’m a sober alcoholic, and if I died tomorrow I’d be content knowing that I did at least one worthwhile thing with the time I had: I helped another alcoholic, a 23 year old man who tried to kill himself shortly before I met him, get sober and start working and move out of his mom’s basement and stand up straight and look other people in the eyes and then go and help a few other people stop drinking.
Not a single professional accomplishment is within an order of magnitude of that level of fulfillment. Just help one f*cking person become more than they thought they could be and you’ll die happy—why didn’t they tell us it was this simple?
100%-ing every game you play is dumb and a waste of time.
I realized that after doing 100% in two games. It felt like I was playing not for fun but for achievement. Same is the case with life tbh. If we are too engrossed in achieving then life passes us by.
These days I just take time to appreciate the beauty of the game world and take it easy.
The Paris Review - Blog Archive We Are Built to Forget
We remember and we forget. Lots of people know that marijuana makes us forget, and researchers in the sixties and seventies wanted to understand how. They discovered that the human brain has special receptors that perfectly fit psychoactive chemicals like THC, the active agent in cannabis. But why, they wondered, would we have neuroreceptors for a foreign substance? We don’t. Those receptors are for substances produced in our own brains. The researchers discovered that we produce cannabinoids, our own version of THC, that fit those receptors exactly. The scientists had stumbled onto the neurochemical function of forgetting, never before understood. We are designed, they realized, not only to remember but also to forget. The first of the neurotransmitters discovered was named anandamide, Sanskrit for bliss.
Pornhub Just Purged All Unverified Content From the Platform
Ive watched porn all my life (like most). I dont have a moral vendetta against it. But it seems to be a no-go topic for discussing the serious societal issues from porn. As I've grown older ive realized its really very toxic and probably the most widespread addiction in the US causing real issues.
When you watch porn all day or even just a few times per week, your testosterone and hormonal balance as a man changes. You do not go after women and start a family. You are more likely to be depressed. It causes brain fog and mood disorders. Etc. Theres some good TED talks on this which are easy to find. This is never talked about and should be. Little off topic maybe but just wanted to state this.
Dusk Is a 90s Style Shooter From The Mind of a Teenager
I don't think it's cargo culting, as much as it's a generation of gamers who were raised with the expectation of a "progression system". I remember back when EA was ridiculed for their statement about "giving a players a sense of pride and accomplishment" regarding requiring a long grind (or big payment) to unlock the most powerful characters in a Star Wars game. I've seen people beg developers to give them something pointless to grind for because they won't play a game without rewards. I think developers know how to make fun games, but I don't think most players want fun games because they've been conditioned to want addiction simulators with meaningless rewards.
I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35
Funny piece. It can be so easy to waste time when we have the internet. I think the most dangerous distractions are the ones that feel productive but don’t actually work toward your goals. For example, browsing hacker news. Such an activity is useful every now and then, but at least for myself I often scroll around only to realize later that it was a massive waste of time I could’ve spent working on something I care about. I think the brain justifies it since hey, at least I’m “learning” something (not really).
Even something like an addictive videogame is designed to make you feel productive by giving you levels to progress through etc—fundamentally I think we all have a desire to produce, it’s just easy to spend time putting that energy into the wrong forms of productive activity, since these are usually easier and less isolating than actually producing crafts or products.
Protests become fertile ground for online disinformation
I have found if you have nothing constructive to do, then twitter sucks you in and is very addictive.
But after a few years or so of constant nonsense, you become adapted to the addiction and just ignore everything on it. Atleast thats what happened to me.
I went from constantly checking twitter to deleting my account and just going to the feed of one or two people once a day to keep informed.
I now laugh at how worked up everyone gets, and all the play acting and rival factions involved. Its almost like an iq test, where you pass if you dont play the game.
The problem is a lot of people are staying indoors right now with nothing to do and are discovering twitter/reddit for the first time.
Imagine a person not only new to social media, but new to the internet as a whole with no bs filters built in. He/she would be such a mark.
The real herd immunity is people understanding over time how emotionally manipulative social media is and learning to ignore it like we do 99% of advertisements.